Friday, April 9, 2010

Floating Along

I have been so frustrated lately. As a massage therapist I rely on my wrists to be strong and healthy to make my living, but since last June I have been dealing with constant problems with my right wrist. I went through a 10 week period where I was constantly going back and forth between doctors, physical therapists, and specialists. During those 10 weeks I also was not allowed to work, but thanks to worker’s comp I was at least being compensated with some sort of income.

Well, I was allowed to go back to work late last August, even though my wrist wasn’t a back to 100%, but the doctors didn’t want me to lose my conditioning with work. I was pretty much thrilled to be able to go back to work and help make other people feel better. Well, recently I have felt the pain get worse, but I thought for some reason that it would magically get better or something.

It got to the point where it began to get difficult for me to do something like pick up a bottle of juice without feeling a sharp pain, so I brought it up to my employer so that I would be able to go back to the doctor. They put me on an immediate leave of absence, and I’ve started the inevitable trips back and forth to the doctors/physical therapists offices. Well, the doctors said I could start doing one massage a day and work up from there, which made me excited even though it was just a baby step. I let my employer know, and they told me that I can’t be put back on the schedule until I can do three sessions. So now I’m stuck in my fifth week of not working, and because it was my employer that said I couldn’t work and not the doctor I’m having a hard time getting the insurance company to compensate me.

I feel so useless right now, and I want to be able to contribute financially to my household, but since this is a worker’s comp thing I can’t even try to get some lame part-time nothing job to at least bring some type of income in. I want to feel like I’m worth something, and not just a lump floating through life right now doing nothing. I’m so glad that I have a wonderful, supportive husband through all of this, but it’s taking its toll on me, and I’m sure that if it’s not already, it may eventually take a toll on him too. I just hope this all gets resolved soon and my wrist gets better.

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