New Year, New Hope

I am very much looking forward to this new year beginning.  We have come so far since this point last year.  At this time last year I was still processing our first IUI that had failed. I was going through a short bout of feeling a little depressed. In March we did our second IUI, which also failed, and shortly after that is when we made the decision to adopt. We have spent months upon months filling out paper work, taking classes, and doing our home study in order to prepare for foster care.  The beginning of this year will include finally being certified to foster, and hopefully shortly after that getting an actual placement of a baby that we can love on and provide a safe, loving environment for. I'm so excited!!!

Home Study

Wow, we are two thirds of the way through our home study process!!  These last few weeks have been quite hectic for us. We have been doing so much to prepare for these visits. We donated a bunch of stuff, and moved even more stuff to our storage unit. It's been a long time since our apartment looked this good, lol. I definitely should have taken some before and after photos. I will try to do that for the nursery.  It is already most of the way set up, the crib is almost complete (we are missing some bolts and had to order them) and we have our changing table ready with tons of storage. I still need to put up a couple of decorations and move some of the furniture around.

This week we had 2 of the 3 visits. The actual part where they looked around our home lasted maybe 5 minutes. The rest of it has consisted of interviews. Both visits lasted about 2 1/2 hours. The first one wasn't bad at all, it seemed very light. Tonight's was a lot more in depth, but not as bad as I thought it would be. We had even more paper work that we had to fill out this week, as if the whole application wasn't enough, lol. I actually really enjoy filling out stuff like that, so I'm not complaining.

We have one more visit this upcoming Tuesday afternoon, and assuming that we get everything completed then (there's a small possibility that we may need one more visit, depending on how long next weeks takes) then we will just have to wait for one of our government background checks to finally come back and we will hopefully be officially certified to accept foster care placements! We are so excited!  Once that happens we will be able to say that we are "paper pregnant", and I can't wait!  

I'm so excited!!!

The application is official now!!!!! 

We received it back from Project 1.27 in the mail Saturday, and they took extra care to make it all cute with their little touches, which I very much appreciated. I will be mailing it to our agency today and then we will just need to wait to set up the start of our home study. I'm so excited!!!

The top picture shows just how thick the application is, and the other two are the little touches that were added.

Right Place- Right Time

This past weekend I attended my church's annual women's retreat, and for once I really felt like I was supposed to be there. To be completely honest, I'm not always a big fan of the retreat. I love the idea of it, but it's not always enough. I went on it two years ago and did not really enjoy it. For some reason I didn't have much fun, and didn't get much out of it. That experience kept me from even considering going last year (although, even if I had wanted to, we actually were out of town that weekend for a wedding). Well, Cody pulled rank this year and turned in my payment the first day registration was open, so I didn't have much choice, lol.  I was still very nervous about how my weekend would go, especially because my security blanket friends were not going to be there and I really didn't have anything to fall back on except a good book. 

The weekend started off great by sharing the car ride down to the retreat with some amazing ladies that are in our church small group. It was nice getting to know them a little bit more, and sharing a great meal with them. I got to room with them as well, so it was nice to be around familiar faces. 

Every women's retreat is laid out fairly the same. There is a large group meeting time with a guest speaker, some free time with some activities, and small groups that meet after the speaker speaks. I really feel like God kind of lined my group up for me this time. It was a mixture of a few people that I already knew, and a couple that I didn't. Well, out of the 3 people that I didn't know, one of them has adopted and one of them has been doing foster care for 7 years! (Her and her husband have also done some training through Project 1.27, so it was nice not to have to explain what it was to her.)  There is also one girl that I already know who just started their home study for international adoption.  I do not think that the ladies that set up the groups knew that there was this connection with most of us, but it was super cool. I'm very grateful that I now have someone with a lot of fostering experience to talk to, because where I am still very appreciative to have all the people that I know who are or have adopted, there is a big part of fostering that they just can't relate to without experiencing it themselves. Cody also had the opportunity to meet this lady's husband at a BBQ that he went to over the weekend. It's just crazy how all of this just lined right up for us. 

I am thoroughly convinced that our church is a magnet for people who have done some sort of adoption related activity, even though I doubt the majority of them are even aware of how many people there are. I have a tiny inside window with Cody being on staff, he just has an opportunity to meet more people and hear their stories. There are at least 6-7 couples that I can think of off the top of my head, and I think I may have heard of 2-3 more. That is a pretty good number when our church isn't very big to begin with. I just love this tiny little community!!!

In addition to the foster care related stuff, I also had the opportunity to be there for a friend who is going through some  possible infertility stuff as well. I know having a person to talk to about that stuff was huge for me and really helped me feel not as alone, so I really hope that I am able to help this person feel the same thing and that she would feel supported as well.

I'm very glad that Cody basically made me go on the retreat this year. Not only did I meet some great new people, get poured into and hopefully poured out of, but I also had a lot of fun!

 UPDATE ON OUR JOURNEY AND PRAYER REQUESTS

We are getting closer to the home study! We had a little hiccup when we turned in our application to the program that we are working through (Project 1.27). They let me know that everything looked great, but I had missed a page. Oops!! Luckily, it was a page that did not need to be signed, so I just filled it out on the computer and was able to email it to them. I was informed that they had finalized their review of it and were mailing it back to us today. Once we get it we can officially turn it in to our foster care agency (Maple Star), and from what I understand our next step will be setting up our first home study meeting! I am both scared and feel peaceful about this process. It's an odd feeling, feeling two opposites at the exact same time.

Here are our prayer requests at this time. Some of them are a repeat of my last post, but still very valid. I'd like to ask you to pray that our home study goes smoothly and quickly, that I would be thinking of less "what-ifs" and be able to be more comfortable with going with the flow of this process, and that Cody and I would be able to support each other well through this process. I also need prayer about how to prioritize my time in order to get our apartment organized before the actual home visit.  I'd also like prayer for how I can be there for the friend that I mentioned above- specifically that I wouldn't be too overbearing, but also wouldn't be absent when she needs someone, and that the right words would come out of my mouth.

I appreciate you all. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

And the journey continues!

We are getting to the point in our foster to adopt process where everything is starting to feel more real to me. Tonight we have the very last pre-application class that we are required to take, which means that we will officially have our application in by the end of this week! (At least that is my personal deadline, so please, someone hold me accountable to that.)

Just some of the application paperwork!

After we turn in our application, we will begin the home study process. For those of you who don't know what that is, I will do my best to describe it. Despite what the name implies, it doesn't have too much to do with our actual place of living. They do come into our home to make sure that it is in good living condition, and that we have their many requirements in place, like baby proofing doors, having all medication locked up, and even stuff like having an emergency escape ladder. Our case worker will do many interviews with Cody and I. There will be one interview for a few hours with both of us together, and then we have to do at least one (maybe two, I don't remember for sure) interviews separately that will be for 3 hours.  The home study will end up being a binder that is 2-3 inches thick of everything about us. They will ask up questions about pretty much every aspect of our lives, like how we grew up, how our relationship is, etc. The home study is the last piece before we get officially certified to receive children into our house as foster children. We are praying that the home study is approved, (which I've heard that unless there is something crazy going on most are approved) because if it isn't then the process would basically be over. I think also included in the home study are letters of recommendation from a few close people in our lives. I might be wrong on that. I will have a way better idea of everything that is entailed after we turn in this application and are able to meet with our case worker again. Because of the program that we are going through, I was told by our case worker that the time between the day that we turn in our application and the day that we are approved to take children in will be between 45-90 days, so basically 3 months at the most!! That's so crazy!


Something super fun that is making this feel even more real to me is that we have been trying to collect a few essentials so that we aren't running around as much like a crazy person when we get placed. I bought a convertible crib off of Craigslist recently, which was actually owned by someone who grew up in the foster care system and she shared some of her experience with me, and I also got a stroller from a garage sale about a month ago. During our last trip to KS, one of our super amazing friends gave us a really cute car seat/stroller set with two car seat bases for the car. It was such a sweet thing for her to do, and we were very humbled by it. We definitely were not expecting anything like that! I feel so much more comfortable knowing that we have those few things already.  We have also collected a few toys and some non-perishable snack things as well, and a few clothing items for girls (my friends are dripping with estrogen filled toddlers, lol).
 

Thanks Ryanne!

Thanks Emily!

I'm getting excited, but I am also getting nervous, which I'm sure is natural for any huge life change like this. If you are a praying person, I'd like to ask you to pray that our home study goes smoothly and quickly, that I would be thinking of less "what-ifs" and be able to be more comfortable with going with the flow of this process, and that Cody and I would be able to support each other well through this process.  I'm hoping to be updating here more often with how things are going and other stuff you can do to pray. I appreciate you all!

Quick Update

I know it's been a while since I've given an update on the adoption stuff, so here it is.  There's not too much that has happened lately. We have a 4 hour training this upcoming weekend, and still need to take our 1st Aid/CPR class. Other than that, we have a tiny bit of paper work left to fill out/make copies of.

Something I'm looking forward to is getting our apartment ready for the home study. We have so many random things that we need to buy because of the home study, like a box to lock our medicine in, but I feel like it will be fun buying these items because each one will get us closer to being placed with a child.

Sorry I don't have much more to say at this moment, but hopefully we'll have more to say once we are done with this whole application process and the home study starts.

My Precious Gift

Adopting out of foster care gives me a gift that I feel like I would not have any other way. That gift is being able to pray for my child, wherever he or she may be right now. I mean, I prayed for our baby while we were trying to conceive, but they weren't here, living on earth yet, so this feels completely different.

I am praying for the well being of a child this is now living, breathing, learning new things and experiencing life somewhere in Colorado at this moment. As a parent, this is the only thing I can do for my child in this season of our journey, and I feel blessed to be given the opportunity.

I prayed for my husband for years in this same way, long before we ever met each other. I would pray that God would keep him safe, that God would be guiding his life and decisions, and just that he was over all happy, along with other stuff, and I have always felt that that was a very special thing that has connected us.

I think that it is amazing that I get to have the same connection with my child, and that Cody gets to share in this amazing gift and opportunity that we have been given. I pray similar things for our child that I prayed for Cody; that they are safe, that they would not be aware of any wrong doing being done around them, and that they are feeling love from someone around them.


We haven't even met our child yet, but I already feel like I love them through the love that I get by praying for them daily.

Adoption Journey Update

Wow, finding an agency to go with is harder than I thought.  I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet or not, but we finally decided that we are going to adopt out of the foster care system as opposed to domestic infant adoption at this point. As much as I want a teeny tiny baby (which possibly could still happen), I even more so just want to be a parent to whatever child God has out there for us.

Well, we thought we had found an agency that we wanted to go through, but both Cody and I started having some off feelings about them. We are going through an adoption support type program called Project 1.27 (http://project127.com/), which does a lot of what agencies do, but not the home study and actual placement. When we went to the orientation we brought up our concerns about the agency with one of the social workers that was there, and she, along with another family that overheard our conversation and has some experience with said agency, basically confirmed our feelings, so we decided that we need to look for someone else.  At least we know what our first speed bump is going to be. We have a list of a few agencies that partner with Project 1.27, so we are definitely going to look into them. One was on our original list of who to look at when we were looking into domestic infant adoption, but they had a 2 year wait list for that, so we didn't really even consider them, but with foster/adopt they don't have that same issue.

We have a few classes that we need to take this upcoming month, and this month is already a super busy one for Cody with work and some special youth group events, including a 4 day camping trip that he has headed up. Please pray that this month would not be too overwhelming for him and that he would somehow come out of it feeling rested and refreshed.

We are currently starting our mountain of paper work, which I actually find kind of fun (call me crazy, lol), so at least we have the ball rolling!!  Please pray that we would get everything done in a timely fashion, and that God would give us a clear sign/feeling about which agency we should choose.  Thanks!!

Starting the Journey

The whole adoption process is very overwhelming when it comes to all of the information out there. Right now we are in the process of choosing an agency to go with. We already had a meeting with one agency last week, and we liked them a lot, but we want to check out a few more just to make sure we go with the one that is the best fit with us.

We have 3 information meetings with 3 different agencies set up for the beginning of this upcoming week. I feel like we will just be driving all around the state for 3 days, lol. At least one of them is only 10 minutes away from Cody's work. That should help a little bit.

I'm very excited to be getting more information and narrowing down our options. I'm pretty sure we are hoping to decide on an agency within the next few weeks so that we can seriously start moving forward to having our first child!!  Please be praying for us as we make our decision. Thanks!!

Our Bumpy Road to Parenthood

Wow, so it's been a year and a half since I last blogged. A lot has happened since then, and is a huge reason why I haven't come here in a while. I knew that I wouldn't be able to help myself and would post some aspects of my private life that I wasn't ready to share publicly yet. Well, I have come to the point in my journey where I truly feel like my story should be out there, and will hopefully give comfort to other people and let them know that they are not alone.

Cody and I got married in September of 2009. A few months later (January of 2010) we decided that we were ready to start trying to expand our family. I wasn't naive enough to think that we would get pregnant right away, but after a while I was starting to get impatient. I have always had a history of crazy cycles, and I was going through another weird spurt, so I decided in October to go see my OBGYN to figure out what was going on. She did a series of tests that led to a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Basically what that means is that I have many cysts on my ovaries at all times (last time I was checked there were over 20 on each ovary). The way my body responds to PCOS is by not ovulating (releasing an egg), which makes a bit of a road block in trying to conceive. 

I tried for about 7 months to try to get the PCOS under control by taking meds and tweaking my diet a little. I knew that it is very common for it to take even a perfectly healthy couple 12 months to concieve, so I wasn't too worried. In June of 2011 I finally (after 1 yr and 5 months of trying to have a baby) decided to start the testing process to see if there was anything else going on. Through a series of tests, my OBGYN decided that it would be best to refer me to a Reproductive Endocinologist/RE (also known as a fertility specialist). We met with the RE that same month, and discovered that along with PCOS, I also had a polyp that was blocking my right fallopian tube and a uterine septum. Those two things create a not so lovely environment for a baby to live in (which could be the reason for a very early miscarriage that we had before we were trying to get pregnant), so we scheduled surgery for the following month.  After the surgery we had to wait about 2 months before being allowed to try again so that I could recover fully. We also found out shortly after that that I have a genetic blood condition called MTHFR. It is a condition that causes my blood to clot easily, which when trying to conceive a baby causes the tiny little capillaries to clot of before being fully formed, which cuts off the blood supply to the baby and causes miscarriage. Thankfully this condition is easily treated with pills, but it was still another speed bump that we weren't aware we were going to have to deal with.

We tried our first medicated IUI (intrauterine insemination) cycle in September of 2011.  My body didn't respond well enough to the meds to go forward with the cycle, so we ended up cancelling the IUI. We were able to do our first actual IUI the following month, after adding weeks of injections to the treatment. We found out at the end of October that the treatment didn't work, and I was devastated. We decided to wait a few months before starting another cycle, both so I could have a mental break, and so we could pay off the previous cycle so that we wouldn't just be going into debt.

We tried our 2nd IUI this past March and found out 2 weeks ago that this one did not work as well. We decided as a couple that we aren't going to pursue any more treatment options at this time, so after multiple tests, diagnoses, surgery, ultrasounds, meds, injections and treatments we have started looking into adoption! Even before Cody and I were aware that we were going to have any issues trying to conceive we had talked about eventually adopting because there are so many children in need of homes and loving parents, so now I guess we are just speeding up our timeline a little bit.

We are fully aware that this journey will most likely be a long one with it's own sets of bumps and successes along the way, but we are very excited to start this part of our story and see where it takes us.